:ghug3
I have a 13yo and I'm seeing the mood swings and aggression too. I was given the advice to act like a "dispassionate cop," i.e. remove emotion and any emotional expectations from our heated interactions and just maintain the rules and boundaries. There's a book about this, "Yes, Your Teenager Is Crazy." It's pretty good. Here's a short version:
When Disciplining, Be Like a Dispassionate Cop | Parenting.org
I put together some incentives for my DS. He has a list of chores that he can choose from, he has to do 5-10 per week, and I will pay him $1 per chore. They're things like vaccum the den, take out the trash, wipe the sink/mirror in the bathroom, clean your room, sort the laundry. Some of them are bigger than the others, but that's okay. He really likes having the income to spend on whatever. It's also a huge help around the house for me, too. I always make sure to thank him for following through on these chores, even though they're an expectation of mine because they DO help.
I also try to have fun time for us. We watch certain TV shows together, or go to a movie every now and again. I like to eat out, so we try to find an inexpensive place to go. I also make sure he has privacy and some friend time. With my other single mom friends, the one thing I've noticed is that kids suffer and get resentful if they're alone a lot on evenings and weekends. If he is, maybe try to find a way to break that up?
The good news is that the teen years end eventually.
