Laurie, yes legal separation is allowed in our state and yes I have spoken with an attorney. Only one, though, and not sure I liked him so I'm still looking.
As for the acceptance, all this came about after I spoke to my mom which then followed up with a call to my sponsor and then I met with my therapist yesterday. Same idea, just different tunes from all 3 of them. My sponsor has told me that there is no right thing to do and that sometimes staying is the right thing and sometimes it's not. She basically told me that no matter what I decide that it will be the RIGHT decision for me. For now, I still feel like I'm in indecision alley and I am not confident enough to make any big changes. Working on acceptance is a great place for me to start as handling the anger and resentment seem to be consuming me.