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Old 01-08-2013, 10:58 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
RobbyRobot
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
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Originally Posted by GerandTwine View Post
In my book, deciding to never again do something easily qualifies as a type of commitment by any logical understanding of commitment. But this is just about the meaning of terms.
Sure enough, a common understanding of a BP can be defined as a committment to abstinence. For me, that usual understanding is not enough to float my boat, lol. As has been said, committments can be broken, can be compromised, can be ammended, can be unfulfilled.

My BP is simply a tool used to descriminate what is and what isn't Addictive Voice. My BP exists for that sole reason. Its like a light switch in a room of darkness, which when tripped, illuminates otherwise hidden AV.

In fact, for me, any other use of my BP other then an AVRT technique speaks more to me as subjective ego dynamics in play then not.


Here's something a little more interesting.

It takes only one breath to say "I will never drink again". It also takes just one breath to say "I will never drink again and I will never change my mind."

If it took two breaths to say the latter compound sentence, I think more people would more easily understand what I believe - that the Addictive Voice is secretly grinning at the second half. "Hah, so, never is not good enough all by itself, yep, you have to say it twice and qualify it with redundancy, HAH!!"

You see, I believe the second half is a CONDITION on the first half. The first half is perfectly capable of standing alone in its absolute clear meaning. So, the Shakespearean Beast is chuckling "Methinks thou dost protesteth too much."
Sorry, I can only appreciate here that you have not entirely separated from your AV. I say this because you have clearly given powers of reason onto your Beast and its AV.

In AVRT, we clearly do our best to have a distinct separation of our logical reasoning mind with our primitive animal unreasoning reactionary lower mind - our base instincts, our primal resources.

I am my reasoning self. My Beast is other. I am logical. My Beast is other. I am wicked smart. My Beast is pathetically stupid. I am able to take and create physical action. My Beast can't and is totally useless. I am Alpha. My Beast is not. I always win. My Beast always does not. Yeah, baby.

The Beast is an abnormality created out of the collective chaos of addiction ambivalence. The Beast is an maladaption of our survival drives and desires. The Beast is as far from being reasonable as fire is from water.

A Beast which is sophisticated in nature and in influence is a Beast which is not altogether, in practice, been put out to pasture and retired, so to speak. These Beasts are fed a little bit of meat, and thus become sparring partners more or less. All dressed up and no place to go, comes to mind.


Nevertheless, I do believe there is a purpose for the long version of the BP. It is useful in early practice before someone actually makes it. It can more clearly draw out the feelings and thoughts of a freshly trapped Beast, because IT has heard the first short version before and will try to belittle it and claim that you are incapable of not swallowing alcohol all by yourself.

In my case, years after quitting, I had dreams that put my honesty to myself in question. IT was trying to to confuse me about when I had been lying to others about quitting and my BP to myself. It took some conscious effort to recall that "Yes, of course I have not drunk alcohol since making it!" and that gnawing anxiety quickly dissipated. But it did come back for a while. It was using my guilt over past indiscretions to try to get me to believe I was not capable of a Big Plan. Those were the days of IT's death throes.

So, in AVRT, the Big Plan has two uses. You can practice it - knowing you are just practicing it - and you can make it.

Practicing the BP with different add on phrases is very useful in exposing the AV. But once the BP has been made, (and it can only be made once) the internal struggle is over and it's all downhill recognition.
Hmmm. I can of course create and re-create a BP has often as I want to or need to. There are no conditions or limits on any BP. Stating it can only be done once is itself a condition. BP's have no inherent or attached conditions...

Like any common tool or technique, a BP is what it is for function and design, and is not so peculiar that it needs to be put on a pedestal, under lights, and glorified as a get-it-right-or-go-home kinda experience.

A Big Plan cannot fail. Only wrongly perceived failures can be wrapped around an otherwise sound and true BP. A return to drinking is more likely being successful at drinking again rather then at failing to stay abstinence. This means the BP was superceded by an even bigger plan to succeed at drinking. Its really as simple as that. So yeah. Its not a one shot deal.

The internal struggle is over when the addiction ambivalence is no longer creating the struggle. I never struggled with my Beast itself, except in my imagination. My true real-time struggle was always with my addiction ambivlance -- ie simultaneously wanting to both drink and not drink. My Beast simply had its greatest effect on me while I so struggled. The Beast itself does not, and can not cause ambivalence, it merely takes advantage of it, while it can.

Once ambivalence is over and done, the Beast has suffered a great defeat, and its best days are over, yes, but yet the Beast remains a powerful monster what likes nothing more then to create doubt in ones self about recovery and being recovered.

This doubt can be enough to bring about a return to drinking, when the doubt is not appreciated as original AV. I'm always 100% positive about my recovered status, so my Beast is pretty well sucker-punched, hahaha.

AVRT makes no record of past failures or successes. AVRT always works no matter the history or future of any person practicing AVRT. AVRT is always about the now moment -- and for those in the know of the now, experiencing the now can easily paradoxically last a lifetime and beyond, no problemo.

AVRT is a very personalised experientially developed and learned practice of separation of ourselves from our Beasts/AV. Its more an art then a science, is my experienced opinion.

Thanks GT for the deepness of your replies. We don't always agree, but no matter. Its not about agreeing, its about the sharing of experiences, no less, which we all can enjoy here at SR!
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