Much of the time I live in the unreality that I really do not have a problem. I am too proud to admit I am alcoholic and need to do something about it. I am too proud to tell others and ask for help. I started drinking again three months ago after two years sober. That is what this disease does to you when you do not remember and do not take action. There are those who can help: AA, Celebrate Recovery and other recovery groups. Counseling can help. Reach out for help. You have exhibited the courage to do so by coming here, so keep reaching out and you can get the help you need.
My father also died from drinking, liver failure at age 69. There is something genetic about the misprocessing of alcohol which is a disease and we cannot drink unless we want to die.
I am back in the saddle at day 2 and know I can do this this time around. You can too!