Originally Posted by
fini 
I simply accept the loss of that old pleasure from knowing the truth. I drank for the assault of pleasure,
GT,
we were different drinkers. i'm a drunk. pleasure had had nothing to do with it for years and years by the time i quit.
as i said, the AVRT concept was of use to me at the beginning, as a tool to accomplish a bit of "distance" from the gotta-drink-urge. because, in fact, after i understood i was a drunk, i didn't want to or have to drink ever again. not so far, anyway.
Yeah. I too still don't want to die as a drunk drunkard. I hear that clearly being said about you. Nicely said, fini. Right from day one, I just didn't want to be drunk ever again once I finally came to understand I was gonna die drunk if I didn't quit, and quit forever, no less. Looking certain death in the face is no small experience.
Originally Posted by fini
I hear your Addictive Voice taking the upper hand here with your misunderstanding of RobbyRobot's meaning of the Big Plan by thinking it is not a commitment. Of course you have the ability to make a Big Plan and stick to it.
see, the misunderstanding, (or possibly unwillingness to accept my experience as valid as yours?) is in here: as i said, i made many commitments, sincere decisions and commitments to not drink again. and i could not stick to them. this, in fact was the eye-opener. it was entirely different from other commitments i can make and have made (no use telling me that's my "AV" talking; it's simply how it actually WAS for me). not denying my own experience , and actually seeing how it really was/is, is crucial for my sobriety, and seeing that my own commitments and decisions re drinking didn't amount to being able to stay sober ...and i see that all over the place, of course.
most everyone has made commitments to quit and failed that way. i used to think that this was a weakness in me and others, that it could be "fixed", that there was something wrong with me and my will, but there isn't. alcoholism is just a different beast.
this is why i appreciated Rob's explanation: that the Big Plan is the tool that results in a recognition of anything whispering or shouting against it can be firmly and immediately relegated to the AV.
it helped me understand how someone can use this method. helped me understand how it is very different from a commitment.
entirely possible i misunderstood what he means or what you're saying.
You got me right, fini. No misunderstanding that I can see. Awesome.
A powerful post, fini. Thanks.