i do agree also that sniping about people who've hurt you is not the most productive way of handling things. and i think i'm still around that stage as everything that went on with my xabf was very recent. since everything came to a head a couple of weeks been swinging between lots of different feelings. disgust and anger being in there too, as has pity for how messed up he is. for the most part i've calmed down but am wondering now if i could have done with a few bigger doses of anger a long time ago. all along the last few years i mostly felt sad for him, and wanted to see him pull through, fat lot of good that did anyone! i wonder if being angrier back then would have made me see sense sooner...