Lillamy,
Good question. If I recall you are ACOA and as I have learned from my own childhood of alcoholic dysfunction we are stunted in this area because we are taught to stifle all anger so as not to enrage the beast within the family structure.
Learning how to deal with anger and channel it is an emotional IQ skill that we now have to figure out as adults... good topic for thought and reflection.
Personally I either repress anger and am calm and methodical but when I go over the edge I am scary... dangerous even. It is behavior modeled by my father who I believe was a sociopath in trying to unravel him now.
A wise old guy said this (Aristotle)
Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.
That should be our goal.
And for rude neighbors I have found earplugs, headphones or putting on an XA speaker to go to sleep listening to as a great way to put my anger to better use!