Originally Posted by
Crazed 
Thank you all. Regarding boundaries - I used to have them. We broke up several times in the early years. I think they somewhere disappeared. I feel like somehow my alcoholic equates "you never make me feel pretty" to "sleeping with an ex boyfriend."
But why do I FEEL SO GUILTY, especially after speaking with her about things?
Have you ever heard of FOG (Fear, Obligation and Guilt)?
This website is very good and explains how people with personality disorders keep us hooked through Fear, Obligation and Guilt. I would suggest you take a look at it and see which of these behaviors your GF is exhibiting.
Out of the FOG - Top 100 Behaviors & Traits of Individuals who suffer from Personality Disorders
My ex was a big-time narcissist and tried to control me through guilt and I totally bought into it, hook, line and sinker. It was only through therapy how I recognized it. Nothing I did was good enough for him and I felt terrible all of the time. I really loved him too, but he attempted to decimate his pain through drinking and abusing me.
I would suggest seriously taking a break from his person and figuring out why you are unable to set and enforce boundaries. Are you afraid of being alone? It really isn't so bad...
