Hi B&B. My name is Sungrl and I have been letting an active alcoholic live in my head for a long time as well. I have been no contact more times then I can count in the past 2+ years. know what?? I am on day one again after an episode yesterday when the A came home at 5:30 in the afternoon plastered. He could barely walk. This is after 3 months in a sober house and countless promises to "stop the madness" that he made to me. He was on his last day of vacation before going back to work. He wanted validation that he did not spend his entire week off at the bars. Truth be told he did not. He drank every single damn day at home though. We dont live together anymore. I stopped by after work to help him with a phone issue he was having and he was not home, I knew what he was up too beacuse he did not contact me all day. That is the game we play. We spend all the time in the world together and then he will disappear for a day, sometimes two. I know he is on a bender and he is sneaky and lies up the wazoo. Point being been there done that. I feel ashamed of myself as well cause I am SOOOOO much better then that. I am back to day 1 and each time the detaching gets easier. I dont cry at all anymore. I don't get angry. My restraint yesterday was incredible. I just left. I am proud and I am strting over, I dont know how long I will go this time and I know that is pathetic. Im ok and you will be too. So lets hear it for day 1 again hope this time we get it right
