(((((((((nana)))))))))
Oh Nana my heart just breaks when I read your posts. I wish there was something I could do for you right now but all I can do is say I'm here for you. I'll stay here on the board if you want to vent. I wish I knew the magic words to make you feel better.
You asked a very interesting question, one that I have pondered myself. You asked why you cried about the possibility of your husband not being there and being scared of that. I often think if I will feel that way too if I left, or he left. I think when you spend every waking second thinking and worrying about, and being mad at someone they sort of become all that you are and when they're not there, who are you???
It's very scary for me, that's why alanon is helping me so much. It's replacing a lot of my thoughts of him and the despair to me and the possibilities, one day at a time.
I will pray for you, that you'll both get through this.
45 is very young, you have half your life in front of you!!!!!!!!!
hugs,
Searching