Thread: AA Struggler
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Old 01-03-2013, 03:20 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
soberlicious
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
There were times when I thought the steps were doing me more harm than good and i started to get anxious and angry with myself for not finding a higher power. i felt a failure.
Then is when you must sort out what is right for you and what is not. Early recovery is a very fragile time for most. Because you were addicted doesn't mean that you are an idiot or can't think for yourself. For me personally, the feelings you descibe were detrimental to me. It was easy to fall into the trap of not trusting my own judgement because of having been addicted, people told me I couldn't trust my own gut. I had those sniggly feelings when I was drinking/using and went against them anyway, so I knew my intuition was intact. It was my belief in myself that was sorely lacking.

What you bring up here is very real for many people. Thank you for broaching the subject by framing it in your own experience and by being so respectful about all programs. I hear you.
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