Originally Posted by
Sie 
I heard in a meeting once, that you are considered a 'dry drunk' (I hate that expression) if you are not a 12 stepper, and would love to know other people's view here who are not follwing the program.
And some religionists consider you an infidel or apostate if you don't share or leave their religion...
One can be sober in AA, one can be sober not in AA, one can be drunk in AA, one can be drunk not in AA, one can be a decent person in AA, once can be a decent person not in AA, one can be a jerk in AA, one can be a jerk not in AA...
The dry-drunk thing is an example of black-and-white thinking, our way or the highway, in-groups and out-groups...
Do what works for you, what is true to your own principles. If that is AA, great. If not, then great too! But keep your critical thinking, you don't have to drink anyone's kool-aid.
There are other ways to get help, SMART Recovery, AVRT, lifering, etc... Might not have face-to-face meetings in your area, but that's the blessing of the internet. And plenty of other sober activities in which to meet new healthy friends face-to-face.