Nana
Just want to add my hug, and tell you that you are important here. I agree that you could start working the steps from the step study here, and also that you should look into getting some help with home care.
I am sure that there are volunteer groups that may be able to help you too. Please call around and see what you can find.
Your past has been horrifying and tragic, but your future can be brighter. There is always hope and we are here to cheer you on any time.
We love you Nana and care. You are worth whatever it takes to get some help for yourself and your situation.