Hi Ananda. Your post made me think of something I have considered for a while now. It has to do with the incredibly strong need many of us have to be independent. I think that to many alcoholics the idea that someone else can influence our decisions, or even our thinking, borders on repulsive. I think many of us find it noxious because of a need for control. Control gives us a feeling of safety. The result is living by force of will, with a sort of contrarianism that makes ‘no’ an almost automatic response to the exhibition of another’s will or belief.
The truth is that nobody can make any of us believe anything. We adopt beliefs and perspectives as they suit us. Truth is, more often than not, those beliefs adopt us. We don’t “decide to believe” in unicorns, God or snowmen. We just do or we don’t.
What seems to make recovery more achievable for some than for others is an ability to “suspend disbelief”. Not to believe, but the willingness to consider ideas that are not our own. Often the first belief that needs to be “suspended” is that it is not possible for us (the me, the I) to permanently recover. After all, that’s been the past pattern. That’s the evidence.
My advice is to TEMPORARILY suspend disbelief in any given “program” or “method” and find the part or parts work. Therein you may find the truth.