(((Ananda))))
I think what I had to come to terms with is my lizard brain, it remembered the deep pleasure of alcohol although I was no longer getting that pleasure. I was just getting the bad effects. I learned I was seperate from my lizard brain, the Beast. rational recovery really made sense to me and finally put an end to my going back and forth.
AA is a good program for living life peacefully, but AVRT and RR helped me more, I think.
I hope this helps.
Love from Lenina