Originally Posted by GerandTwine
We don't stay stopped because those good things are happening. We stay stopped because we made the Big Plan and it doesn't matter WHAT HAPPENS (lottery, hurricane, injury, anything) around us or to us, we simply don't drink ever again because we vowed not to. This is a quite personal thing. You will know when you've made such a vow (and no one else will ever know for sure).
Exactly...I don't remain abstinent
because of x, y, or z.
I remain abstinent
despite x, y, or z.
Yesterday, however, was a different story. I haven't felt that low or despondent or bad about myself in a long time. I wondered whether it was hormones. I wondered whether it was anxiety. I wondered whether it was fear. Could it be loneliness? Why did I feel like I was experiencing a tremendous loss? Why was I sobbing uncontrollably?
Oh yes...the "I wonder" game.
You can feel bad about yourself, feel low, despondent, anxious, hormonally imbalanced...none of that has anything to do with using alcohol. None of it. The "I wonder" game is just a way of wearing you down. When we used to break horses, we would run them on a lead line in circles in a round pen for long periods. That's why it's called "breaking"...they become too tired to fight, they simply comply.
Decide which end of the lead line you are on.