My husband and I have been married for 4 1/2 years and have a 2 1/2 year old daughter. Despite everything we've been going through lately, we still consider each other to be our best friend and would have a great marriage if not for his addiction.
Earlier this year, my husband confessed that he had gotten addicted to major opiates. I was shocked -- he is a master at hiding it, no one knew. He used pills for at least a year without my knowledge (was able to play around moving money around just enough to keep me fooled) and then crossed into heroin use for several months, trying to hide it until he couldn't take it anymore and reached out for help.
He went to rehab with good motivation to get better, and I allowed him to come home while doing his outpatient treatment (probably a mistake), and after outpatient was over I continued to drug test him a couple times a week. He did really well staying sober for 2 months, going to AA like every night, getting a new job, etc, but recently relapsed for a couple weeks and tried to hide it, initially calling it just a 'slip up,' but later admitting it was a major relapse (when he was getting caught, that is, he still didn't come to me or anyone) and he felt very ashamed. I had taken control of our checking account and credit cards but he still had a business account in his name only and depleted that account of several thousand dollars (it's now closed).
My first instinct has been to just divorce him. As soon as I found out the relapse was more than a 'slip up,' I told him to leave our home and live somewhere else. I am trying to sort through my anger, panic, disappointment, sadness, stress, etc, etc....addiction is so hard on the family. I just don't know what to do now. I felt like I gave him a great chance to get it together. Is relapse forgiveable?? I don't want to endanger our daughter anymore.
He is sober again now (for 1 week) and says he's commited to staying sober and willing to live separately, whatever it takes to get his family back supposedly. I have an appt with a lawyer in a week and a half. I don't know whether to go for the divorce and see if he cleans up and we can start over with our relationship; give him 6 months of a separation to prove himself.....I just don't know. My parents are hoping I just divorce him and move on -- the financial and liability risks are huge since I have a great job and we have a really nice house that we bought right before this all came to light. Any advice on this mess is appreciated....
