ISO,
My son starting using drugs at a very early age. BUT mine was also stealing, skipping and failing school. Some adults were buying alcohol for them and I went to the police about that - nothing was done.
I agree that you can not make him attend any kind of treatment. It is a waste of time and money if he doesn't want to go, or isn't ready to change his life style.
You said he is making good grades, attending school, and doing his chores?? My son also smoked at that age, not in my house and he had a job to pay for his own.
IMO pot is going to be legalized in many states soon (prob never mine as I live in the middle of the Bible Belt lol).
At 16yo, in my state, it is against the law to buy cigarettes and alcohol and they are pressing charges in our area. During this time of the year the paper always has several stories of drunk teen in accidents and the parents of the home where the party took place arrested.
All of that said, there is no way in heaven that you can stop him if he does not want to stop! But I would be firm about not smoking or drinking in my home. I had to say this quite a few times to mine and in front of his friends. They were only allowed outside on the patio if I wasn't home. When you say this you have to make sure you will back it up if they test you, and teens will! This is your home and regardless what everyone else does, if you don't feel comfortable with the activities, make them stop.
I also know hardworking people that smoke pot AFTER their job to relax. But they are adults. Have to tell you I have 'pot head' young men in my family that really don't appear to be too ambitious.
As I have gotten older I can reflect on the many ways I enabled my son when I thought I was not at the time. None of us are perfect and as I read in a book, 'no parent stays up at night plotting ways to screw up liitle Johnny or Sally's life'. Stuff that we can't control just happens!
(((huggs I know how stressful it can be)))