... and then I read mightyqueen's post and I feel slightly less sad for ABF.
Last night he told me (after speaking with his therapist) that sexual assault is apparently "normal" for alcoholics. He said this with an air of innocence, as if he didn't even need to feel bad about it. I asked him if he could so easily brush off the behaviour of another alcoholic if, say, his niece was being regularly sexually assulted by her (fictional) ABF. No reply.
So yeah, I guess I am another up-and-downer.