Old 12-21-2012, 11:56 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
GirlFromCO
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,071
Yeah, I felt really good and sort of enlightened for a while but then 1 bad trip (not even like a horror story one, just a mediocre & upsetting one) and I started having panic attacks, big time. I didn't leave the house for a year when I was 18, basically felt really disorganized mentally and fearful all of the time like something bad was just about to happen. Now, I can't say for sure if it was the LSD or not but I always felt like it was. I have a family history of panic & anxiety so who knows for sure. I do think it made it worse though, at the very least.

Sometimes still to this day I'll wake up in the middle of the night and see patterns just like I was still tripping, or I will wake up with the worst feeling of dread you can imagine - not even a panic attack type thing, just pure dread and horror. It usually lasts a minute or two and then I come back to reality. I permanently (or at least 15 years on) see tracers and lights never looked the same after I started dropping acid. Sometimes the residual visuals really freak me out, so more anxiety, panic attacks, etc. I can't do caffeine either and I also depersonalize when I'm stressed out. Just go off into lala land, can't focus on conversations, etc. When it's really bad I just go to sleep sort of narcolepsy style, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. That gets annoying at work. And I've been battling major depression since my teens.

So who knows why, really, but that's my experience. I've had some success w/psych drugs and therapy but it's taken a long time and a lot of work, and I'm by no means done yet.

For reference if it matters, I started doing acid when I was 14 (happy b-day! lol), continued once or twice a week for 2 years, combined with X lots of times, then occasionally did it until the last time at 18 years old.
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