Lizatola - have read a lot of your posts and just thumbed through your threads.
Finances are a part of any long time relationship a 17 year marriage is significant and anyone should be concerned about their finances. Divorce can be financially devastating and while it wouldn't be my advice to stay in for the money if things were tolerable if that's what someone wants to do fine.
I don't feel that you have stayed there for the money. You have posted significantly about your marriage in a fairly short period of time. Clearly you are invested in him, you care, you want things to be different. You have IMO gone above and beyond to try and get things back on track. Someone who was just in for the income really wouldn't care so much.
There is also not enough money on the planet to put up with the bull***t you have had to endure. You love him, he is your sons father and your partner of 17 years.
You keep making steps and one day you will land where you are supposed to.
