Originally Posted by
Florence 
For what it's worth, a common thread among narcissists is telling you that you're doing exactly what they're doing. Which is extra confusing and makes you take on blame and feel complicit. Individual counseling can help you tease out what's your responsibility and what's him being a nut.
Yes, this is why I still go to counseling. Whenever I talk to my sponsor, she tells me that her xah was exactly like my AH is currently. She didn't leave until he started to physically abuse her and he was already 6 years into sobriety at that point. I guess I picked a good sponsor because she really can relate to where I am and she keeps encouraging me to understand how much of this disease is a 'thinking' disease. It really helps me to discern what is his perspective and what is reality, which always never seem to coincide with eachother, LOL.