To me, from what I have read just here, it doesn't seem as though you are using your AH. Instead, it sounds like he is trying to control you by insisting you stay home to homeschool your child. Besides, even if you divorce him you will still receive alamony right? So, I don't think the money is the reason you are staying...I think your AH has a hold on you.
I was in a relationship several years ago were my boyfriend continually accused me of cheating, drinking behind his back, etc. I was never doing anything behind his back; I was always truthful. To make a long story short, I eventually left him. After leaving him the truth finally came out & I wasn't the one doing things behind his back. He was the one lying to me. He was drinking & smoking pot behind my back & it was rumored he was cheating.
Sounds to me like your AH is the one with the secrets & the problem. I think you know what will be best for you & your future. Best of luck to you.