Originally Posted by
choublak 
Then that guy wasn't truly "ready" for recovery.
No argument.
Not saying that some of the harsh stuff I heard when I first landed here wasn't good stuff.
Not offended that someone called me out for calling someone out - and if I did I'm sorry.
Just suggesting that sometimes it is useful to remember how we felt when we had our first "I need help and don't know where to turn". Moment. People coming here for the first time are often, as with Audrey, realizing they have a problem and admitting they need help. My first response on this thread was along the lines of dump his ass and run too but that was pretty self-indulgent of me. Any poster who uses the word eventuated properly is not stupid, she knows the situation is unhealthy but maybe she's not "ready for recovery". I love that one by the way....
There are some 'older' posters here who I've noticed treat all newbies the same: welcome, I am sorry you are hurting, read the stickies, come back often, go to a meeting.... I've read through their histories and they did not start there.
Anyway... If I offended then such was not my intent and I apologize.
I think it is worthwhile for any of us when reading someone's first post to step back and try to remember how crappy it was when we googled "alcoholism help". I'm as guilty as anyone of reading with a cynical eye at times.
Not many people come here saying " I just realized my life is unhealthy so I decided to pack my stuff and get out". There are a lot of folks who come here bewildered and scared who GET to a point where they take action after learning more and understanding more. On another thread today lizatola was saying people were judging her for hanging in for the wrong reasons... I'm glad she came back to say so rather than saying screw this.
Anyway, maybe the above makes sense and someone takes something useful from it, maybe they leave it. Maybe one of my issues is that I need to trust someone before they can "tell it like it is for my own good".
Audrey - hang in there, read the stickies and keep coming back. Sorry you looked for this forum but glad you found it. Things can get better regardless of whether he does because you control you.