not liking purgatory
It's time to move beyond this place I've been stuck for years. Neither using nor in recovery. Sitting on the fence, keeping my option to use open, but not actively using. It's an addict's purgatory.
I've long wanted to find a sponsor and work the steps but allow pretty much everything to stop me. A big reason is the possibility of not finding the right sponsor. Reading threads here I found this in the thread "My First Sponsee," about what a sponsor is, and what a sponsor is not.
What you are not:
his parents
his boss
a bank
the daycare center
a dumping ground
a 24-hour hotline
a complete network in one man
a professional marriage counselor
a psychiatrist
a medical doctor
superman
God/Higher Power
What you can be:
Hopefully, you're someone who's on a further page in your recovery, so able to help with understanding stepwork.
A caring but objective listener
Someone with whom he can check things out with.
If he chooses to be honest with you, you can help hold him accountable for progress in recovery.
A voice of sanity in the often crazy times in early recovery
Honest.
Yes yes yes, THIS is the person I want to find as a sponsor. I wish I could send out a mailing so only applicable applicants would apply. Where to find such a person. I don't want someone to solve anything for me, I just seek guidance. How to begin knowing if the person you choose is right? I'm quite concerned that if I get the wrong person I might end up in a bigger mess than where I am right now. Maybe this is just another stall tactic I'm employing. I'd rather work through everything on my own. That keeps me quite stuck, obviously.