Hello all, new to the forums, and I've been drinking for 10 years, started with a combination of fun/being able to sleep for once, and now that I'm older, largely just for the purposes of sleep.
I no longer enjoy getting drunk, but my OCD has gotten worse over the years, and my insomnia with it as my brain gets caught in endless loops of anxiety. Im' tired of this crutch, and do not even enjoy alcohol any longer past one or two drinks IF that. In fact its not until literally right when I'm turning the lights out for sleep that I usually drink anymore. I've tried sleep inducing meds, but I end up depressed, exhausted, and near/sometimes suicidal for the day or two after.
Anti-anxieties have helped me end the desire to drink at all during my waking hours, but I still can't shut my OCD brain off at night enough to sleep more than two or three hours without drinking, but I won't have the money for my appointment to adjust the nighttime meds til near the end of the month.
Does anyone who has/had similar problems have any advice for cutting it out until then? I'm so tired of drinking throughout my sleeping hours (off and on through the night) to get any rest, and having the next morning until afternoon be so foggy feeling I don't always remember it. Its been over a decade, I'm getting too old for this ****.
Y'all have a wonderful day, good luck with your recovery, and happy holidays.
(PS, cold turkey and dealing with the insomnia until then I don't feel is safe, I've weened myself off an average of 20+ to <9 drinks per night. And experienced the DTs very badly when I tried to cut back past that)