Consider Me Recovered...
...or...maybe well on my way.
My semester ended Tuesday night with a final exam from hell (electrical engineering exams are nothing but that -- hell), but I somehow got through it. It wasn't my best performance, but when I got home Tuesday night and went to bed, I started doing my "end of year" inventory.
Exactly 11 months to the day earlier, my AXGF pulled what is documented in the sticky note "ZoSo's Laws for Surviving a Breakup with an Addict". That day was spent in shock, but there was also a certain finality about that day that was oddly comforting. After enduring all the drama that inevitably accompanies an addict, this was one episode that there was no going back from. The level of sadism and cruelty she displayed that day was something that can be called, without exaggeration, off the charts. And I was done. Pictures were deleted off my iPhone, her contact information was deleted, I blocked her number, and all her texts and emails were deleted.
And then, it was just a matter or riding out the ensuing storm. I found this site, posted a bit, PM'ed with people that were familiar with both addiction and Borderline Personality Disorder, and slowly started to heal and enjoy my life again.
So as I was lying in bed the other night after my final, I thought of my AXGF and the guy she left me for...and starting laughing. He's an addict, too, and I'm pretty sure that he's not capable of dealing with a Borderline Personality. Frankly, who is capable of dealing with an addict and a Borderline?
I've said this before, but it's worth repeating. She gave me a gift, and a gift that keeps on giving. She removed myself from my life, thinking that she could destroy me. And she was wrong, because 11 months to the day later, I was laughing about it.
There are just some situations I will not tolerate anymore, either in my personal life or my professional life. The experience with my AXGF taught me my boundaries had to be a lot firmer than they were if I was to do well in this world. As of this past Tuesday, I am one semester shy of my Masters of Science, Electrical and Computer Engineering. And nothing is going to stop me from getting it. Nothing.
So, there's a ways to go, yes. But life's pretty good. It's actually really good.
God Bless You All.
ZoSo