Oh my do I know how you feel. Similar situation here...........separated for over a year after a 21 year marriage, weeks from finalizing the divorce and he ended up in hospital after a bad fall, then DT's, pneumonia, heart arrythmias. My AH did not survive and died in the hospital at age 63, all of alcohol related illness. Is it easier this way? One might think so. At least now I can say I stuck it out to the bitter end, could say my goodbyes, give forgiveness so in a sense I'm glad the divorce was never finalized. But after having minimal contact for some time I know the feeling of getting sucked back in though........constant bedside vigil, I swooped right back into co-dependent mode the minute it became clear he was truly critically ill. I couldn't walk away from that.
On the other hand was it worth a life.........no. I would have rather seen him live. I have to agree with those that said to just do nothing for right now. Likely nothing will change in spite of the promises. But if you are not sure I agree with expectant watching. Her actions will show you the right course but that doesn't mean you have to get back together, move in etc. Anyone would be confused in your situation.