I am so sorry you are going through this.
I am getting papers ready for the big D, but totally waiting til after the holidays. I think this time of year is about being in it, the darkness, the cold, interior. You stare at the candles glow and you keep cozy and you wait for the new year before you take action.
I can't wait for spring to come and the lightness and freshness of a new beginning after a 17 year marriage to someone who is increasingly cruel and desperate.
It must have been traumatic, seeing your AW so close to death. Give yourself space to move through this and be kind to yourself.
And hold on to the dream of what your life can be when you move on.