I can't tell you what is right or wrong because my AH drives the Vodka Train too but other women don't ride in the caboose and if they did, I'd be pulling the break and jumping off right away. I have riden his train for 3 years now and although it's stopped at the moment, he knows that if the engine starts again, I am getting off and we will live seperated. He told his son and friend who were here yesterday evening, I'm not drinking... and I added, because you'll end up divorced... and he looked at his son and said, Yes.
I can't ride it any longer. It's a run away train and scares the hell out of me anymore and it's only gotten faster with every bottle. I swear, I have watched it literally possess him and although he has not harmed me physically, he has verbally assaulted me and hearing him say *Shut the fawk up!* and *Fawk You!* Wow... that's not how my husband would treat or talk to me. EVER! He has never called me out like that until recently on a vodka fueled binge and scary is an absolute understatement.
I think the best piece of advice I could give you about an up and coming divorce and you being wishy washy is this. Let her actions speak for her. That's what I am doing with my husband because he's lied so much to me. He says, I'll quit and he goes to buy another bottle. He has not boughten one since the 7th. He's been sober since the 9th and I'm letting him show me instead of lie to me. I believe more of what I see instead of what I hear.
We have a looooooong road to hoe. I so want it to work out but only he can do that by showing me that he wants to get well. I have forgiveness in my heart for him. His biggest trigger is yet to come and I will see lots of action come Spring and I so want to not have to do what needs done if he does not stay sober.
So for you, I say... Lights.... Camera.... ACTION!