Allforcnm, he has participated in therapy quite a bit but I do know (because we did joint sessions occasionally), that he was not honest with the therapist. It was all very frustrating because if you are not going to be honest, they can't help you. It may do him some good now if he's finally able to be honest with them and himself.
Brokenheartwife, you hit the nail on the head with your comments which is why I keep trying to direct him to his sponsor (he does have one as of 2 weeks ago). He makes comments from time to time regarding things people have told him and they are the very things I have told him for years but he didn't want to hear it from me and got defensive. This is when I started seeing the light and knowing I was not the one to 'help' him any longer.
Footwork and time....so true.