"Is this him or the alcohol??" (meg597)
What difference does it matter? Unacceptable is unacceptable. You moved out for a reason. Keep reminding yourself of that.
He is showing you who he is...... believe him.
For years, I was committed to an active alkie. Each day, I struggled with " He is such a wonderful person when he is sober." Well, the sober guy was becoming more of a memory,........the reality, I was with an out of control alcoholic, he was emotional unavailable, turned my life into a living hell.
I can only suggest you take your life back, honestly there is NO future with an addict. Going no contact is for your wellbeing, perhaps you could consider it. I understand that you are hurting. Please know we are here to support you. Wishing you peace.