AH's sponsor says don't go to rehab
Seriously?! This is what AH is telling everyone. That his sponsor says he shouldn't go to rehab - because his participation in rehab could be used against him in divorce court, as proof that he is an alcoholic.
This spring/summer was the first time that my husband started really saying some true words about his alcoholism. Each truth was a gem for me. Because the truths confirmed what I had known all along but there was seldom any proof. Made me feel crazy, noticing subtle things that he'd deny or turn into a fight.
But then by August he started retracting everything. "Alcoholic?! Well, I have a couple of beers but my wife is very sensitive to alcohol consumption and thinks my normal beer drinking is a problem so I go to AA for her. Now all she talks about is my drinking. She can't get past it and talk about the more pressing issues such as..."
He's convinced the family doctor, the couple's therapist, many mutual friends, the police on one occasion, his parents and brother, and perhaps his AA sponsor?!?!?! That I am hyper sensitive and he's a victim.
Am I crazy?!
Oh, and the aggressive and threatening behavior? He has a completely different recollection of those occasions. Just marital problems. He's doing all that he can to save our marriage but his wife is impossible.
Anyway, he says he is coming here in a few days to stay indefinitely but up to one month. And he will stay 2 nights in a hotel but won't commit to anything more.
I could file a criminal complaint so that maybe they arrest him upon arrival. I was hoping he would just go to rehab for a few weeks and get sober so at least I could work with someone partially functional. But it appears not meant to be. He wants to lurk around here, sulking and mad and looking like a victim, playing it up through the holidays with the children and giving me likely not a single moment's peace.
But if they arrest him? That's not where I would prefer to take this. I don't understand what the poolice are going to do. It's different over here and they don't feel the need to explain things to me. The police get to make a lot of their own decisions, it appears. But they are concerned for me, at least.
I have two days before his arrival. What do I do? He is angry, unstable, it's the holidays, i have four children waiting for Christmas day. I want to pack us all up and disappear until he goes away!