Sorry things are happening as they are, and it may seem like perhaps things can get a whole lot worse, based on your earlier years of drinking experience with each other.
I want you to perhaps relax a wee bit though knowing that many things have changed for both of you over the past months, and those changes could very well mitigate some of the problems which seem obvious today.
You're a great example for your husband, and I'm sure he knows it. Don't put too much stock in his defensiveness. Rather work with what you got, and look for special ways that he is doing well in, and encourage him no end on those. Not drinking is not always about rules and responsibilites for this, that, and the other thing. Often times, spouses just having good sober times makes a huge difference in a persons day. Good times about anything in their lives, you know? We get sober to be happy too, and this is important not to overlook how the simple deep love spouses have for each other can brighten even the darkest day.
You guys are on the same side, even though you're walking to slightly different songs, the music is still there and shared between you both. I know this, because you're reaching out, and he's struggling to do well. You are both contributing to the relationship.
There is a way thru all this, Jeni. Be brave. Don't let doubt and fears of one possible future out of many possible somehow stifle your moments today.
Thanks for starting this thread, Jeni.