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Old 12-06-2012, 10:48 AM
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Jeni26
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,008
A different approach

Hi. I'm after some advice.
My H and I gave up drinking together 6 months ago. We were long time drinking buddies but for the past 10 years things had deteriorated to the point where we were daily blackout drunks. Long story but things were not good at the end.
Anyway, fast forward 6 months. Our relationship is so much better, we laugh a lot, we appreciate what we have and things between us are great.
But....we are following very different paths. I'm in AA and its working well for me. I've fully accepted I'm an alcoholic. He is supportive but not interested in going to meetings himself. I'm fine with that. I fully understand that it isn't for everyone and I wish he would consider looking at other recovery methods.
He has never admitted being an alcoholic. He appears to have just replaced his addiction to alcohol with spending money on things he doesn't need, binge eating, compulsive behaviour. He is becoming obsessive and secretive about things. But the thing I've noticed most is that he's so angry about everything!
Life in general annoys and irritates him, most of the triggers seemingly minor.
At home he is fine, family life is great, but as soon as he steps out the front door, he finds everything so stressful.
Drink helped him cope it seems.
He is very single minded and his determination to stick to his statement that he won't drink again has seen him through this far. But he hasn't the tools to help himself. He is strong and I'm proud of him.
I am really ignorant as to other recovery methods there are out there.
How can I help him?
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