? Have you had healthy relationships modelled?
After doing some work through ACA and therapy. It's become very apparent that "healthy relationships and intimacy" were not modeled for me. My therapists words - not mine.
I'm a huge fan of Gottman's books on relationships and Dan Wile "After the Honeymoon."
If you are open to twelve step programs - Alanon, ACA(applies to children of dysfunctional families) and/or CODA might be appropriate.
ACT (Acceptance and Commitment) is the next wave after CBT. New Harbinger publishes alot of ACT based books.
ACT teaches defusion with our thoughts. Like emotions they pass and they aren't always accurate - this is why having a sponsor, therapist or teacher(spiritual?) is helpful. Having an outsider reference makes a difference.
ACT also teaches acceptance of emotions.
ACT makes sense to me - but I actually think there are a lot of paths.
PTSD has been associated with ACA's - depending on the trauma of the alcoholic relationship I wouldn't be surprised if it applies.
Consciousness(mindfullness) is a huge step dealing with any issue. I think your post is a very positive one.
Best wishes on working it out.
Vicki