Originally Posted by
Quinnleigh 
I must learn some. Im scared of losing my job, my accomodation, and my reputation is up sh*t creek. I want to drink (sorry, IT wants to drink).
Or more accurately I dont want to feel this pain / fear etc.
Feelings and pains can be managed. Drinking is a lousy management choice, as we all understand in very personal ways. Better choices will create better results.
It really comes down to this:
What is quality of life for you, Quinnleigh? Where does the buck stop? Who has final authority and responsibility for your behaviors? Who do you answer too? What is stopping you from being the best you can be?
The answers are all too obvious, yeah?
You can deal and manage your pains and fears without drinking alcohol. Nothing is stopping you from being a non-drinker. Nothing. Think and wonder on that simple truth, and you'll make better choices going forward.