MoG -- I thought I misunderstood your first post but reading your second one, I see that I don't, I simply disagree with you.
I think it's healty for children to make the observation that their parent is behaving in ways that are unhealthy -- whether they are able to put it into appropriate language or not. "Fat and lazy" may be a kid's way of expressing his disappointment in his father. Mine have said worse. And when they do, I may remind them that alcoholism is a disease. But I won't order them to respect a person who they feel has neither earned nor deserved their respect.
For me, telling people about my AH's bad behaviors (here or at Al-Anon) was a way of figuring out whether the behaviors were typical, or whether I was overreacting, or what. Sort of a reality check. For me, that was part of the process of determining whether to fight for my marriage or give up.
As for the other part -- I don't see "He supports you" as a good enough reason to feel obligated to treat someone with respect. Matter of fact, I would go a step further and say you are never obligated to treat someone with respect -- respect is earned, and when given by obligation, worthless.