Thread: What the.....?
View Single Post
Old 11-29-2012, 07:03 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Thumper
Member
 
Thumper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I'm so sorry about your friend's son. How sad.

I explained that I felt that telling AH about people, things happening in friend's lives, etc was part of sharing in a marriage, a give and take of conversation, etc.
That is a totally reasonable expectation of a marriage and it is a totally deluded expectation of your husband. He is not that man. He can't be that man. It is not him. There is nothing that you, or the counselor, can do to turn him into someone he is not.

IME, once I truly accepted my husband for the person he was a couple of things happened. I was no longer surprised, upset, frustrated, shocked, mystified, or angry at how he behaved. I lost respect for him in so many ways but at the same time give him the respect inherit in being a person. The respect to accept him for who he was. I was able to let go of all the turmoil I was feeling and focus that energy in a different direction, one that was more productive and focused on my own situation and life.

Thinking of you and your son. I have a son almost the same age and it is hard for him to be so conflicted about his dad. My son isn't nearly as open so it is hard to know what he is thinking. :sigh:
Thumper is offline