Lizatola, I am so sorry about the loss of your friend's son.
I know you express dismay at what your son said about not telling your AH. I don't know what to say about that except part of me was glad he was able to express that to you so articulately. It shows the strength of your relationship with him. In my family, growing up with an A mother, we were all very afraid to express our feelings and fears. So kudos to you for building that trust with him, as dismaying as the context was.