That is an awful lot going on for you. Just remember that drinking will not make it better! Remember what you yourself said above...."I LOVE sobriety.....".
Just because you are scared doesnt = drinking. You can do this, and life will always have its ups and downs....actually, it is one way to know you are still very alive and kicking, which is a good thing.
Can you tell your husband you are not comfortable with him buying a gun?
Also, take a look at your own signature...tis a good one
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I have faith you can do this.