Lol I feel kind of ignorant here ... like I get what you're saying but my mind is refusing to acknowledge it? I guess that's what's happening. I mentioned my monster is gone. Not entirely true. I've been testing it... see where it's hidden... Which probably isn't healthy but I know I will never drink again and never use drugs again. I found the monster haha. Mostly when the drugs come into play. Alcohol was always my DOC but I had used so many other substances and the monster likes them better. My monster knows the husband is using. My monster likes that. Maybe that's what is causing me to not grasp the concept fully. Because it makes sense. I know it does. But a part of me is skeptical in a way?? See I'm afraid if my husband can't pull himself together... I will go back to using and drinking. (my mind just settled down) lol and that scares me. It's just a fear I have. I will lose everything I worked so hard on being clean and sober for. So I guess my monster acknowledges if husband fails. It thinks it gets what it wants.
Oh I hate this. I keep focusing on his issues hoping to forget my own. I have to deny my monster in order to realize the reality of denying one's monster... in order to... son of a B! My head's swimming lol. Focus.
I will never drink again. I will never use drugs again. I will NEVER change my mind. I will NEVER go back to that.
Okay I'm alright. Well this has been enlightening :/
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So is it a per case basis on how to deal with the monsters? It seems everybody has their own opinion on such. Different methods and techniques and what works best for them? But in general you must have separation and know that "I" will NEVER and "it" wants to. "I" will NOT let "it".... and carry on?
I suppose that's kind of like my signature... about 4 months after I quit for good I went through some HELACIOUS stress and my signature (part of a song) was what I had to keep repeating to myself. It got me through. I had to focus on that. Whenever "it" wanted to drink or use I just started singing that part of the song haha. It worked.