Originally Posted by
lizatola 
As for what LTD said, YES: I recognize the cycle myself and I have chosen to not do the dance. Last year, I would have a had comment or a hurtful look or somehow engaged him. Today I just ignored him and drank my tea in peace. What really bugs me is the look he gave me, which just screamed passive aggressive. UGH!
Liz, I think is great that you don't engage with him any more. That takes a lot of strength. You are making progress. But (there's always a but, lol), you are still dancing in many ways. Whenever he's "nice" or promises to seek "help," or writes a sappy letter to the therapist, it throws you into a spin. I know you didn't ask for my advice, and we're supposed to refrain from giving it, but if you just assume he is going to continue to be a jerk, even when he's "playing nice," it will help you to maintain your serenity. It takes a long time for people to change, so getting your hopes up after a week or two of good behavior will only disappoint you. Of course you don't trust him. Because you know, deep down, that when he puts on the nice act, it's not real, and it won't last.
L