My dad passed away a year ago in July. As he lay dying in the hospital I bent over him, tears running down my face, and told him I would make him proud of me. Then I went on a year long bender, not one sober day in 13 months. Eventually my anger and sorry sort of burnt itself out. I realized destroying myself with booze wasn't going to help me and certainly wouldn't make my dad proud. That was one of the things that gave me the strength to quit.
I wish I could say something helpful, but I really can't. I don't believe in God, I don't think there's a plan for our lives. I don't hold out any hope that he's "in a better place" or that I will see him again some day. What I believe is that those we love live on literally in our hearts and memories. If I can clean up my act and live my life half as well as he did, part of him will live in me.
I do hope at least that your family member can take comfort in your presence, and if they are to leave this mortal coil hopefully they will do so knowing that you're going to be okay.