I am really just trying to focus on what I can change, mainly myself.
I know one way to honor him is if he could die knowing I'm not (or no longer) a drunk.
So I plod along.
Thanks for the suggestions. I have honestly so many things to do, so many unfulfilled half started hobbies, and now I'm sober, can think clearly about them.
Yesterday was a big blow, but I'm moving forward.
With gratitude.