I'm still laughing about reading the letter to a wall. Well put. I have had the letter for a couple of days and when I go back and read it I think, you know what, I'm tired of being silent, supportive, not stating how I feel. It's so easy to get wrapped up in how he feels. When I think, wait and see if I still want to send it, I then think, why? Why wait? But then a small part of me thinks, if I tell him all this he will hate me. If I tell him all this, he will relapse. If I tell him all this, he will use it for justification. On and on. I keep waiting for the anger to dissipate but it doesn't. He's like an arsonist that lit a fire and then walked away and left everyone else to put it out. He tears apart our life together and then goes to rehab where from morning til night he has people to help him piece himself back together and I get the burned out building. I think I'm going to rewrite it so that it's not going to give him ammo but still get my point across. Maybe make it a little nicer with the gist still there. Thanks for the responses. I realize now that I have to really be prepared to not care about the response, but to focus on the need to say it. I highly doubt a light bulb will go off for him, but I can at least feel like my anger is directed at the source and not just bottled up inside. I think that I also need to work on it from my end so that I am able to use it in a healthy way. I need to pay attention to WHY I'm angry. I think the anger is trying to tell me something and I need to listen.