Hugs, hugs, and more hugs! I am totally with you on this one. It takes all my strength to NOT make snarky or snide comments and usually I just walk away seething.
Yet, I think it's really about my own expectations that I have, that aren't getting met. I expect my AH to take the same road to recovery that I am taking and in the same time frame. Talk about setting myself up for resentment. As frustrating as my life with him is, I still have to turn the mirror on myself and see where I need to change my response or my thinking. And, yes, sometimes I walk away stomping my feet because I challenge myself to see it differently and I want to yell, "No, I don't want to. Haven't I been through enough?" It's like I'm 10 years old again and I just don't want to do it(whatever IT is), but as an adult I know that I have choices and I can choose to respond or walk away or take a few deep breaths, whatever works, right?
Sorry you are struggling today!