It's interesting how differently we all perceive and experience recovery. And I suppose life itself.
It is precisely because I have so little control over so many things in my life—not just in the future, but right here in this moment—that I take enormous comfort in the knowledge I will never drink again. I feel no anxiety about that at all; quite the opposite. Of course, my addiction initially recoiled at the notion of quitting forever. But in time, that subsided, as I expected it would.
Two weeks ago I learned my dad is dying. Last week my ex-wife told me she's pregnant. I can't imagine what the next week will bring, much less the rest of my life. But I do feel certain about a few things. I know that I won't drink. I know I won't grow wings, I won't become president of the United States, and it's looking less and less likely that I'll ever marry Winona Ryder (some dreams die hard). Another certainty is my own eventual death... so when I say I will never drink again, keep in mind that at a certain point, "never" becomes
fait accompli.
That's not a platitude, Vinyl. It's my experience. I'm enormously grateful to have found a framework that has brought me such peace of mind, and glad that you've found one that works just as well for you.
And, as you noted above, the gap between us may not be all that large. The concept of a single, everlasting moment called "now" has been raised on these threads before. Viewed through that lens, the distinction between now and forever becomes harder for me to see.