I am confused. Why should we act like nothing has or is happening. It's very difficult watching our loved one slowly killing themself and waiting for that time we just might loose everything we have worked for all of our lives. It's hard not to lash out at them because you don't understand why... I have been all of the above especially #2. I have tried acting like nothing was wrong. I have tried the old saying if you can't beat them join them. When I act like nothing is wrong my AH acts like he hasn't done anything wrong. Like passing out in his vehicle in the driveway or in the bar parking lot or coming home drunk and yelling for something to eat. I don't join in with him anymore. Why should we ignore the fact that they are making so many lives miserable??