Originally Posted by Joslyn

As I contemplate my next move, I'm trying to figure out how to best protect the assets. I make about 4/5 times my AH's salary and I receive a sizable bonus every year in January. If I move that bonus money directly into our 12 year old's college fund, will it be subject to splitting it and sending it to AH as part of a divorce settlement?

Also, if my AH has had no current DUI's, but had several 20 years ago, can I use that to ask for supervised visitation for my 12 year old? I do NOT want him to drive my son anywhere. I am not sure if a judge throws out 20 year old history.

I already am starting to resent that while emotionally it would be better to separate/eventually divorce, I have to be "ok" cutting him a sizeable check (1/2 of my 401K and retirement, stocks etc.), and it will be my 12 year who pays because I REALLY do not want to take out college loans and cutting checks to AH is the LAST thing I want to do (I think this is the gone from numb/confused detachment to anger stage ughhhh).

I don't know if I have to courage to come to terms with taking a huge financial hit/lifestyle (80% attributable to my hardwork) and my kids will pay for it in the long term with no more boat, no more lake, no more of the lifestyle. I need to stay focused and hope that I can make positive, new experiences for them, like traveling etc. But how do I let go of the fury that I feel because I just don't want to hand over 1/2 of my life's work both in the way of financially and my 12 year old subject to hand offs on weekends. This is so hard......